Thursday, September 29, 2005
Although I had the arguement with mom on sun, I think that incident had bugged me since then. I do not think I have a good night sleep. Subconciously, I am still being bothered with the conversation that I had with her.
M: Next time you better don't tell me all your problems.
V: Oh, I have already stopped confiding in you.
M: You so clever trust those friends of yours. If they mean any harm then you would get it. Believe in others and not your own family.
V: I have also not confided in them. I kept everything to myself.
*Bish* When I said that, it dawned upon me that I have not confided in my mother anymore ever since she started to use that to threaten me whenever she is unhappy with me. I kind of promised myself that I would not tell her any more things since she doesn't want to listen. Maybe you can say that I am stubborn. But I have to agree I am. Since she put it that way, i shall not confide then. However, i didn't realised that I had really done that.
Although I am stubborn, but I do not think that I would do that on purpose. I guess, she must had mentioned it a lot of times that subconsciously I became determined not to tell her things.
Ever since that happened or when I realised this, I have been dreaming in my sleep quite a bit. I even woke up while I was still speaking in my dream and I rememebered vivially that it was something that I wanted to say to my mom.
I guess that incident really affected me quite a bit. Hence till today that I am still affected. Subconsiously I am still bothered by it.
